Watcha think of my little writing?

"Hey Ray"? Dom asked "Can you help me hold this beam up.John and Chris are going to tie the suspension cord to it so we can raise it up to Floor?One sec let me check.OH,okay.Floor 8. "Sure."Ray replied.After the beam was about 3 floors up tragedy stuck. "Dom,move!"Chris yelled.The beam flattened Dom's fragile body.John stared at the bloody scene for what seemed the most scary moment of his life. "Get this thing off me you guys."Dom moaned.Dom looked around.The beam wasn't on him.There was nothing except white around him.It wasn't glowing or anything.Just white.Like being in a white box. "Dom,you made it" a voice said "We've been waiting so friggin' long for you to die.Now the world can die.Earth's final moments have finally arrived."